Pink nail polish

I’m so grateful we live in such a wonderful country that pink nail polish on a little boy merits national discussion. We’re wringing our hands and gnashing our teeth in despair.

Meanwhile, Japan is glowing in the dark with a disaster of Chernobyl proportions.

So awesome. And, you know why this is an outrage, right? Because that pink nail polish might make him gay, or at least a transvestite. Icky!!!

Let me just say, I don’t remember choosing to be straight. I can’t recall when I did it. I don’t even remember choosing not to be gay, for that matter. Even more to the point, I don’t remember ever choosing to fall in love with one person or the other. I never thought, “She would be a good person to be in love with because of her many good qualities and level-headedness in financial matters.”

Know why? I think it’s because I didn’t choose. And neither did anyone else. Nobody chooses who to be attracted to or who to fall in love with. Nobody chooses to be straight and nobody chooses to be gay. But, because we live in this closed-minded society, some gays have to choose to seem straight. They have to adopt a lifestyle opposite to their own feelings.

So, I don’t really think that nail polish is gonna make some kid queer. Just saying.

This article from Smithsonian Magazine says that one of America’s greatest president’s wore a dress until he was 6. His parents must have messed him up, big time! No wonder he was a Democrat!!!

What’s that? You say that all boys wore dresses until their first haircut in the 1800’s? Hmm. Okay, so they were all weird. Must have been a lot more confused boys back then. I’m shocked our species didn’t die out with so many boys almost becoming gay. In fact, according to WiseGeek, pink was considered a pretty masculine color prior to the 1950’s.

I almost hesitate to write this knowing that someone who reads this might actually think someone is gay if they wear pink. I might be embarrassing them right now. But, then, I thought, good. I hope so. Personally, I don’t understand being gay. I’ve never felt gay (except that one time when I was choosing wall colors for my daughter’s room and, um, I liked it.). I never caught myself wanting to hold hands with another guy. So, I don’t get when two guys dig each other. But, just because I don’t understand it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with it.

You know, I’ve seen guys sit there and talk about their girl as being so beautiful and she’s not. She’s plain. I’ve seen guys get all wound up over some girls that just weren’t good looking at all. That doesn’t make those guys perverts because they like girls with big noses and unibrows. Should we look into their childhood to see if their mothers wore Groucho Marx glasses or something to give them this fetish?

As a teacher, I have seen too many gay students have to hide it, or worse, face condemnation by family or friends or peers because of who they were. And, then, we have the gay marriage thing. My favorite reason for being against gay marriage? “When gays marry it devalues straight marriages.”

Um, no, Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh getting divorces and then marrying three times devalues straight marriages. Look, if you’re serious about protecting marriage then you need to pass a law that outlaws divorce. But, you won’t hear that on the Excellence in Broadcasting network.

People are dying in the Middle East for freedom from oppression, civil protestors being shot for wanting to have a say in their government. The situation in Japan keeps getting worse. We are cutting education throughout the Federal budget. Teachers are getting lay off notices and school budgets are being eviscerated. Corporations are reaping record profits in the middle of a recession thanks to favorable tax loopholes. The banks that caused the recession are handing out bonuses.

And people are outraged over pink nail polish.


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